In Waiting

In Waiting is a visual diary that delves into the complex and often overwhelming experience of becoming a first-time mother. Set against the backdrop of the global pandemic and the resulting lockdowns, the project captures the isolating and claustrophobic feelings that can come with parenthood, as well as the moments of joy and connection that keep us going.

Something that often gets forgotten when a firstborn comes into this world, is that it is not only the birth of a child, but also of a mother. Riddled with doubts and fears, it is a metamorphic experience for the whole family changing the relationship dynamic and the way we look at our own parents.

Pregnancy is a time of endless anticipation that abruptly ends with the child's arrival. In Waiting focuses on the period of my life when everything else seemed to be on hold. Since we were initially unable to travel from London to see our families in Poland, the pregnancy became an intimate experience I shared with my husband. Limited mostly to the space of our apartment, I turned the camera on us. I began documenting our lives in this transformative moment, and I have continued doing so with the arrival of our daughter.

The collision of light and shadow plays a central role in this project, highlighting the joys and anxieties that come with the first-time motherhood. Family portraits are tangled with still lifes of mundane parental reality - groceries dumped in a hurry on the table, cabbage leaves for relieving mastitis, and various landscapes from daily walks.

Working on this series has turned into a therapeutic experience, giving me an opportunity to process things that were happening around me - the uncertainty of the pandemic, and the messy rawness of parenthood. Through the lens of first-time motherhood, the series explores the universal themes of identity, belonging, and self-discovery, offering a poignant and honest look at the transformative experience of becoming a parent.